3.17.2006

CHAPTER 24 - Wherever My Thumb May Lead

I never heard from Eva again. She didn’t show up in class at all during the last week of school and, each time I tried calling her or sending her a text message, nothing was the only response I ever received. She had disappeared from Prague - my Prague - altogether and there was nothing I could do about it.
After my last day of school, the students all gathered outside of the building in Karlín and we took some pictures. They then bade me farwell - some of them with tears in their eyes - and wished me good luck in whatever I chose to do in the future. I returned the kind words and, for the last time, made the tedious journey home to the Dum.
November seemed like such a long time ago. When I had first gotten on that bus to Modřany and was surprised to see that Prague wasn’t all beautiful spires and cobblestone streets. It too had its dreary high-rise housing projects. Like the Dum. What had I thought when the Dum first appeared like a monolith in the distance all those months ago? What had I felt when the cold was so bitter that it dug its claws beneath my rag-tag Greek summer wardrobe? I couldn’t really remember. All I knew was that so much had changed since then. So much had happened.
How frightened, yet full of adventure, I must have been back then. Back when I had first lowered that tiny little life raft of mine from the luxury cruiseship I had known since birth and pushed myself away. It had been dangerous. My raft had been empty and I had had no idea where I was going. Simply drifting aimlessly. But it had kept the adrenaline going. Besides, I had soon met others. They had been in that same vast ocean as me but, somehow, their boats didn’t seem as empty. They had left a few things with me and then gone their separate ways – just as I would be doing in a few days time. Kim, Pavel, Dejan, Marie, Arthur and Jordan – even Herman and Reinhard. My little raft didn’t seem so bare, so frightfully lacking, anymore. They had filled it with little knicks and knacks which, thankfully, had allowed me to weather this first storm – a seven month storm through Bohemian waters – unscathed. I would never forget what they had done. This first adventure which they had helped me survive. I had lived to tell a tale and would tell it over and over agin... Even in the distant years to come when my once new raft would be worn with travel and filled to the brim with mementos gathered the world round.
I packed all my things that weekend and moved out of the Dum. On Sunday, the last day of June, I wished Dejan, Herman, Reinhard, and Alpha good luck and good bye and told them that, hopefully, our paths would cross again one day in the future. I thanked them for being true friends and for all they had done those past seven and a half months. And so, I threw my dufflebag once again over my shoulder, pulled down Robert Frost from my door and placed him in my wallet, unsure of where he would next be posted, and closed the door to room 806 behind me.
Luke and Char agreed to let me stay at their place for a few days. I didn’t feel like leaving Prague quite yet. I still needed a few days to soak her up before I left her for good. Besides, there were a lot of people I hadn’t said goodbye to yet and, who knew, maybe Eva would eventually call.
I spent those last precious days I had wandering the streets of the city I had become so enchanted by. I’d start at Václavské náměstí, with the imposing National Museum at one end, and wander down the grand boulevard to Můstek, soaking up the architecture of the immense buildings that followed me. After Můstek, the city changed into that narrow maze of cobblestone grandeur that I so loved getting lost in. As always though, I’d eventually find my way through to Staroměstské náměstí and hear the ornate clock chime as I sat underneath the watchful gaze of Jan Hus and enjoyed a midday cigarette. Karlův Most was never too far off and, as I crossed the Vltava those last few times, I realized how intimate I had grown with the very statues that Kafka had fallen in love with so many generations before. In the distance, as always, the imposing walls of Hradčany castle and intricate towers of St. Vitus Cathedral kept their ever vigilant watch over the city. I strolled through Malá Strana as I had done so many times before and eventually worked my way up the hill to within the castle walls. I wandered through the palace gardens and imperial courtyards, finally entering the cathedral and sitting down to lose myself in the majestic gothic vaults that hung above me. Ah, Prague. The City of a Hundred Spires. The Mother of all Cities. When would I lay eyes on her again? When?
"You are fucking idiot man."
"Thanks, Pavel. Same to you."
"But good friends. I miss you." Pavel raised his glass of beer. Tonda, Honza, Robert, Jarda and I joined in. "Nazdraví!" and we nazdravíed each other.
"Maybe for the last time,’ I added before we all put the glasses to our mouths.
"Yes... Maybe." Pavel took a long, refreshing gulp of beer and forcefully replaced the glass on the table. "Ahhh! Czech beer – best in world!"
"I can’t disagree with you there."
"Yes..." Pavel was lost in thought as the others chatted away in Czech. "Why you leave, Paul? You no like Praha? Beer is best. You agree. Women is very good – so, maybe for you is problem Eva but is many girls. Maybe you very nadržený, but you forget her. You have friends here also. I no understand. You like Prague?"
"Yeah, of course I do. It’s the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen!"
"And you like to living here these months?"
"Yes, Pavel. I’ve had a wonderful time since I first came. Czech people are great. The life here is great."
"And Horní Planá!" Pavel interrupted. "Do not forget Horní Planá!"
"How could I? That was a great time. My first true experience here – anywhere. Everything had been, well, super since I came here."
"Yes... So why you go? To Italy? Fuck Italy people have to beer! Only wine. Is shit. Maybe Italy girls are good – but no like Czech. Czech is best... Why you go?"
I sighed heavily. "Jesus. How can I explain this to you? I mean, yeah Pavel, this city is great. Your country is great. Czech beer. Czech babes. The only thing that could use some improvement is Czech food."
"You no like Czech food?" Pavel was puzzled. "Dumplings. Potatoes. Many different potatoes."
"My point exactly. But forget the potatoes. Everything, everything else at least, is great here. The best I’ve ever seen. But how do I know there isn’t something better? Maybe there is, for example, better beer and more beautiful women somewhere else..."
"Impossible," Pavel slammed his hand on the table.
"Yeah, I know. Probably not. But maybe – just maybe – there is. Or, maybe, it’s how you say. Prague has the best of everything. But how will I ever know if I don’t look for it myself? When I explore – after I’ve explored – seen everything there is to see for me, then I can decide."
"So, you go back to United States too?"
"Fuck no. Not now at least. Not because it’s the US – I love my home – but because I’m not ready to settle down yet. This is such a big world with so many adventures. So many possibilities. I’m not gonna throw away my youth in some office building."
"But, if money is good?"
"Money isn’t everything, Pavel. And neither is work." I downed what beer I had left and saw that Pavel had just done the same. "Then again, neither is beer. But I could sure go for another one!" I winked at him.
"Yes! Good man, Paul! You are fucking good man. Very nadržený, but good man. I miss you!" Pavel then turned to the waiter who was serving another table. "Pane!" he yelled. "Šest piv, prosím!"

By the time Thursday came around, I finally accepted the reality that Eva was gone for good. And even if she wasn’t, even if she was going to call me soon, I could no longer just sit, wait, and hope. I needed to leave Prague. I needed to travel. To explore. My raft still had many uncharted waters to explore and I was eager to steer her through them. I decided to leave the next morning.
Char had prepared some dinner that evening and I bought a couple bottles of wine in order to complete the meal.
"That was delicious," I said after I had finished my last mouthful. "Great job, Char. Delicious."
"Thanks!"
"By the way, I’m leaving tomorrow morning," I added bluntly.
"What? Already? You can stay a few more days, Paul. You’ve hardly even been here!"
"Yeah," Luke added. "It’s no problem if you want to stay longer. I mean, we’ve got this place until the end of the month. You’re more than welcome if you want."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Thanks a lot guys. You know, for the hospitality and all. But, well, I have to get going. These feet are getting itchier by the moment."
"I hear ya’." Luke nodded as he poured another glass of wine for himself.
"And Eva? You don’t wanna wait for her?"
I gave Char an are-you-serious? look, "Come on now. You know as well as I do she’s not going to call."
"He’s right, Char. Nothin’s happening there." Luke poured some more wine for the rest of us and corked the bottle again. "So, you got your ticket down to Italy yet? What are you taking? The bus or the train?"
"Well, the bus is cheaper. But neither."
"So you’re flying?"
"Nope. Hitchhiking."
"What? But why? I thought you just got your paycheck the other day. Don’t you have enough cash? I thought you said you were getting a summer bonus too or something, didn’t ya?"
"Yeah. Sure. I have plenty of money saved up. But I want to hitchhike. It’s an adventure. I’ve never done it before."
"But, but," Char stuttered. "Aren’t you scared? You don’t even speak Czech. Or Italian. Or anything! Only English. Well, and Greek too... But that’s not gonna help you much. What if something happens?"
"I know. I’ll get by though. Trust me. And yes, I am a little scared – but that makes it even more exciting. It’s gonna be great!"
"Oh, Paul," Char lifted her wine glass to her lips and took a sip. "Be careful."
"Don’t worry. I’ll be fine."
The next morning, Char hugged me goodbye and told me that if I needed anything – anything at all – I could call them or just hop on the next bus back to Prague. They’d be there until the end of July. I told her not to worry again. When she asked when I would be going back home to the States and Philly, I answered "Thanksgiving" and laughed.
Luke and I then left for the Metro. Char couldn’t come with us because she was teaching that morning so Luke was the only company I had. We went down the Metro escalator and waited for the train towards Pankrác station. The expressway to the south of the Czech Republic ran directly by there.
"So then, this is goodbye," Luke started as we waited on the platform.
"Yep. I guess so."
"So, when are we gonna see each other again?"
"No idea, man. No idea. Like I told Char... Thanksgiving."
"So you really don’t have a clue, huh?"
"Nope."
The train arrived and we stepped inside. I put my bag down between my legs and we sat.
"And you, Luke? What are your plans? I know you said you were gonna travel around Europe a bit in August – If you come to Venice, by the way, make sure you stop by! – but then? After the summer?"
"Back home I guess. Back to Georgia with Char for a bit. She really misses her family and all. Ya know how it is."
"Yeah. It’s tough. But are you guys gonna travel again? Or, if not both of you, at least you?"
"Naw, naw. I can’t leave Char. We’ll probably travel again. But together. And not to live somewhere else like we’re doin’ now. Just to visit."
"Why not?"
"Come on. I can’t do this forever. Teaching and living in strange places off of peanuts. I have a college degree. Computer Engineering, remember? It’s about time I used it."
"Yeah. Maybe you’re right." We sat there in silence for a bit as the train sped through its underground tunnel. "But, Luke. I mean, is that really what you want to do? Get some Comp. Engineering job back home?"
"Well, no. I can think of better stuff to do. Like travel all the time. But Jesus, Paul. This is the real world. You can’t just get up and go."
"But why not? If that’s what you want."
"It is what I want but it's not gonna happen... Hell, to be honest with you, I don’t really know what I want."
"Same here..." I nodded slowly. "You know, there seems to be a lot of that going around lately. Not really knowing what you want."
"You can say that again."
The Metro intercom soon announced Pankrác and, before long, we were ascending the escalator. We stepped out into the morning sun and saw the expressway with its countless cars zipping by us below.
"So then. This is really goodbye."
"Yeah."
"Until Thanksgiving then, huh?"
"Yeah, Thanksgiving... Say, Luke. Remember when we first met here in Prague? We went for some coffee."
"Sure. Why?"
"Well, you asked me what I thought we were. What kind of ‘Generation’ we were. And I told you a generation. That’s it. Just a."
"Sure, right. I remember."
"But no. Just a. That word doesn’t do us justice. No, no. A. We’re not that at all. I’ll tell you what we are. We’re more like lost. Yeah, that’s it. A lost generation.
A look of confusion descended on Luke’s face. "Come on, Paul. There’s already been a Lost Generation. You know that."
"Yeah, I know," I sighed.
"Well, if there’s already been a Lost Generation then, honestly, what are we?"
I shook Luke’s hand and hugged him goodbye, eager to get on my way. "Fucked," I replied and walked towards the expressway alone.
But maybe we weren’t. Maybe there was something more. Something out there that could prove me wrong. Something I hadn’t found yet but was waiting to be discovered... just maybe. So I held out my thumb and went on looking for it.







THE END

2 Comments:

Blogger G.C. PHILO said...

Wow, Hippo. All in one day? I don't know what to say... I'm glad, thrilled, exstatic, etc. that you liked it so much. Do you think that there's anything that needed work? What did you like most/ the least? It took me two years to write it and you read it in a day! I don't know how to react!!! It's like when my girlfriend cooks a meal for two hours and I scarf it down in three minutes... I need to know - Was there enough salt????

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi GC, or is it Paul?

I just finished reading it. I started yesterday afternoon and have pretty much squandered every hour since then getting through it (other than going out and having a blast last night... with my Czech-Canadian roommate. Oh, and I met this Austrian chick last night and it reminded me of Horny Plaza).

Anyway, I've noted about 2-6 typos/corrections per chapter and thought you would be interested in fixing them at some point. Actually I didn't track them for the first 6 or so chapters, and didn't have my pen around for chapter 20 (I think it's 20).

Anyway, I too loved it. I haven't read a book so quickly in years.

Visit my site and send an email to the Editor, that's me, and we can chat about it further if you'd like.

12:23 PM  

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